At the beginning of a relationship, much of what attracts us is what
we've projected onto the other person. It's similar to looking into a
mirror— we see our unconscious reflected back to us.
As the relationship progresses, two things happen:
We begin to see more of the real
person beneath the projection (with a
feeling of not knowing the other
person at all).
We try to change that person to
conform to our expectations and to
improve on this imperfect reflection.
During this time, your partner has also been projecting onto
you and is also feeling that they don’t really know you and
may be trying to change you. This can take days, weeks, or